Wednesday, December 12, 2012

TABOULI (serial B & L collob)


INT. TBD HEALTH FOOD STORE - AM
STICK READS VOLTAIRE. CUBBIE PREPS FOOD IN THE BG.

CUBBIE: If Jem bats his cow eyes at me one more time, I’ll scream.
STICK: Then, go out with him.
CUBBIE: So he can cross examine me about my tofu steaks? No thanks. Besides, he’s married. Don’t you ever listen?
STICK: Apparently not. How about Lido then?
CUBBIE: Lido’s got too many bad habits.
STICK: Like what?
CUBBIE: He’s a momma’s boy. He’d probably bring her along.
STICK: That would be some trick. She’s dead.
CUBBIE: Her apron strings must run deep then.
NICOLE: (tangos in) Then you better sharpen that cleaver of yours, Cubbie. Sorry I’m late.
STICK: No prob. Lips as red as wine ...
CUBBIE:... and soft like a baby’s butt. (laughs) You sound just like a phu phu commercial.
STICK: (mumbles 1st line) Thanks Cub! So Nick, how’s Grace?
NICOLE: Wouldn’t know.
STICK: But didn’t you see her last night for the weekly grill session?
NICOLE: Ah.. Ah ... Grace was a little under the weather.
CUBBIE: You sure? She call here looking for you last night.
NICOLE: Really? She ah must’ve recover fast.
CUBBIE: Or you had a secret date.
NICOLE: Can’t I have any secrets?
CUBBIE: Nope. Where were you?
STICK: Now Cub, leave her be. She has the right to a private life without us ...
CUBBIE: Alright ... I’ll be back.
NICOLE: Okay, ole Smokey.
CUBBIE: (exits while speaking) Don’t knock it. It’s good for my glaucoma & rheumatism. Back in 5.
NICOLE: Guess it’s called aroma therapy, huh?
STICK: She should see Doc Holly. It’s called gouty arthritis. Uric acid deposits that cause sudden swelling of the feet. It’s hereditary.
NICOLE: (grins) Really? So what do they call swelling of the brain?
STICK: Well, it’s called ... oh, never mind.
NICOLE: ... So, who’s on today?
STICK: Drey and Frank. Bishop’s off.
NICOLE: Wait, don’t tell. There’s some Jimi Hendrix tribute band in Jackson, he NEEDS to see? He must think I’m dense.
STICK: No .. He’s sick. Got laryngitis.
NICOLE: I bet he has. Toss me the phone. We’ll see if he’s on the up and up.
STICK: (tosses it to her) Guess trust isn’t in your vocab today.
NICOLE: (dials number) Do you blame me. He’s called in sick, ten times this year and it’s only March. Hello, is Bishop in? ... Oh, I see. Well, tell Sleeping Beauty to get his buns here today or he won’t have a job to pay for his extra curricular activities! (slaps phone on the counter)
STICK:Well, that was subtle ... Hope you didn’t make Bonnie pee in her pants.
NICOLE: (laughs) I might’ve.
STICK: Anger brings out the Jekyll in you.
DREY: (walks in) Ain’t that the truth. Let me guess, Bishop called in sick again.
NICOLE: Yep. Is Bishop this flaky when it comes to rehearsal?
DREY: He’s much worse ... We barely get on stage with one rehearsal under our belts. Speaking of, is Frank here yet?
STICK: Nope ... He’s not due in until noon.

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